Thursday, February 12, 2015

You are enough

Do you ever just have that feeling that it's just not enough.? And by "it's", I mean anything. Fill in the blank....life, shoes, cars, crafts, décor, vacations, clothes, food choices, houses, etc.

I think it's harder to be a mom today than maybe ever. There is pressure from social media sites, Pinterest and all of the other media outlets that we have. Forget a homemade construction heart taped to the wall, Valentine's decorations now consist of vintage lace garlands, strung with white lights that are coiled around lanterns. Or something like that. It gives me anxiety just thinking about it.

One of my personal goals, this year, is to feel enough. I have enough and I am enough. Instead of wanting to do more, be more, fix more, decorate more, I am trying to realize that I'm enough and we have enough.

Sometimes, I think the pressure to do more actually causes the opposite effect. We work so hard to be perfect, that we forget about the important things in life. My kids couldn't really care less what kind of Valentine's invitations they bring to school. In fact, the $2 box from WalMart would probably make them super happy. But, as a mom, I feel like a failure if I grab that box and slap some names on it. What are all the other moms going to thing of my kid's Valentine's? Instead, we see elaborate pictures, glitter, fancy cars, suckers, cookies, etc. All for a made-up holiday! When I was in school, we all brought the cheap boxed Valentine's and now it seems that's not enough. So now, moms around the world are staying up until midnight, stressed out that the Valentine's aren't perfect, only to have the kids rip through them looking for candy and ignoring who even gave them out.

<Sigh>. It's a tough balance.

I find myself having these thoughts with so many aspects of my life. Our house, for example. Instead of feeling content, I am constantly seeing changes I want to make. We moved in 6 years ago, and there hasn't been a day that we've lived here, where I haven't pictured the kitchen makeover that I've been dreaming about. Many of you would call me crazy, I know. Our house is beautiful. Sure, it's got outdated cabinets, but they are certainly functional and something I can live with. Instead, I feel the need for them to be better. Instead of looking at a room and loving the space, I look at a room and see all of the changes. It's everywhere.
 
The pressure and desire for perfection is a really hard balance. But, I think it's even harder as a mom. Social media highlights only the best, and not reality. If we all posted pictures of the actual messes in our homes, ourselves without make-up or cute clothes, our dirty kids and our boxed macaroni and cheese that we just served up for lunch, I wonder if it would be different? I don't blame people for posting beautiful pictures. I mean, really, those are the ones that I want to look back on and remember. But, it's not real. And, as a mom who is just barely keeping her head above water somedays, it's hard not to compare, to envy, to be jealous or to feel a lack of contentment.
 
I don't know how we change this, but if you are reading and have felt those pressures and insecurities, know that you are not alone. Somedays, I want to shut off my computer, turn off my phone and just focus on my kids because even being on Pinterest, makes me feel like the worst mom in the world. What happened to birthday parties with a slice of pizza, an Orange Crush and a store bought birthday cake? At what point did that change?
 
After four kids, here is something that I do know for sure, every mom has strengths and weaknesses. And furthermore, different outlets for creativity. While there may be things you do have or don't do well, there are other ways that are you are amazing. I know it might sound cliché, but it's so true. Instead of spending a lifetime of comparing and feeling inadequate, how about making a list of your strengths? Or if you need to turn off social media and Pinterest for awhile, DO IT! There's nothing wrong with taking a break. Try to remember that a good old PBJ, glass of milk and apple were once the best lunch around. Running through dirt and tracking it the house, while wearing mis-matched (non-designer) clothes and passing out boxed Valentine's, were what our childhood was made of. Kids haven't changed their expectations, we have.
 
Count your blessings, not your short-comings. And remember, you are enough.

::Linked up with: Home of Malones, Kristin's kNook, Rosilind and Joy Dare ::

And linking up for the first time with Vanessa and Penny! How fun!



15 comments:

  1. I absolutely love this. A huge struggle of mine all the time but I'm slowly realizing my "mom strengths" are perfect for our family, despite them being different than my other mom friends. And today I ate a PB&J, orange slices and glass of milk with my kids for lunch. Because it was delicious and they loved it. It comes back to the simple things in life. Thanks for the reminder!

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    1. Sounds like the perfect lunch! And you ARE the best mom for your kids. =)

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  2. Oh man.. I am not a mom yet, I will be a step mom soon and I have other things that can sometimes make me feel I am not enough.. Sometimes there is just not enough of me to go around. I find myself wanting to be at 20 different places at the same time.. I've been working on that.. Loves reading this post! Found you through the link up! So exciting!

    Xo

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    1. Oh, totally! This could be applied to anyone, not just moms. Good luck in your new adventure!

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  3. Awesome post. Thank you for stating what so many feel

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  4. It is definitely a real struggle in this life of social media and DIY everything. Everything we do always just seems to fall short of the social media "perfect" standard. And you are right. Every mom has their strengths and weaknesses, and while it might be hard to "ignore" the media--sometimes it's the right thing to do.

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    1. It is so hard!! A constant struggle over here!

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  5. Awesome post! I so can relate to this. . . especially now as I have begun blogging. Talk about measuring up! I use to struggle with being the best teacher, now this. Anyways, you hit it on the nail sister! Glad I found you.

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